The American Society for the Conservation of Gravity

Founder: Darwin Randall Crum (1931-1999)
Chairman: Darlyne Olimb Crum
Vice Chairman and site maintainer: Randall Munroe

Darwin Crum
Gravity Detector

As our first project since reconstituting the Society, ASCG Labs has developed an advanced Gravity Detector, capable of determining whether or not there is gravity. Details here.
ASCG covered in OMNI Magazine

Protect your home

Send your stories and ideas
Do you have an idea of how to conserve gravity in the home? Do you have a success story? Do you want to draw attention to an egregious and easily avoidable waste of gravity? Send it to me at and I may publish it on this site.
Quick Links

Promote ASCG - Bumper sticker & shirt
Gravity Detector - ASCG Labs project
Proposal: Washington Monument
Proposal: Sears Dock
Gravitonian - January 1980
Gravitonian - January 1982
OMNI Magazine Coverage
Crosscurrents Coverage
Questionnaire - Do you have a gravity problem?
A future without gravity

Escalators have the advantage of continuity of motion, great capacity, and small amount of space occupied and current consumed for each passenger carried. Escalators are built 2, 3, and 4 ft wide between balustrading geared to move at the same speed as the element. The angle of incline is 30 deg from the horizontal, and the speed is 90 fpm. The normal carrying capacity of 2 (3) [4] ft escalators is 4,000 (6,000) [8,000] passengers per hr.
About the Society

The Society was formed by a group of concerned citizen-scientists who felt the need to alert the public to mankind's ultimate disaster. The incessant irresponsible squandering of man's most precious terrestrial resource by an unthinking, unknowing populace has to be stopped!

Consider the following:
  1. The United States, with only 6% of the world's population, uses 59% of its gravity.
  2. A single moon rocket launching uses more gravity in a few moments than the entire world used during all of the 18th century.
  3. The Sears Tower in Chicago (103 elevators!!) uses as much gravity in one day as fifty Mount Everest expiditions.
  4. Air Freight is becoming acceptable in many parts of the country.
  5. Outside of our society there are no programs to develop alternatives, such as synthetic gravity, artificial gravity, or new gravity mines.
These five items (from a list of dozens in our files) should cause anyone to stop and think -- "What will happen to me when our gravity is gone?" The answer is obvious. The unprotected citizen, caught in the open with no lag bolt or other protection, is doomed. The lucky person who awakes one morning and finds himself bumping gently against the bedroom ceiling will be thankful he wasn't camping out. Birds will have to learn to fly upside-down to get back to their nests. Rabbits, kangaroos, and children on pogo sticks will disappear in a trice. Shoppers will be forced to stand in line to have their potatoes weighed while the gravity supply for the scale builds up.

A gruesome picture? It is indeed! Can something be done? It can, and the American Society for the Conservation of Gravity is doing it. Our activities fall into three broad categories:
  1. Public Awareness Programs
  2. Scientific Action Projects
  3. Community Reaction and Publicity
Examples of our PAP programs are our posters and our bumper sticker. The Schaumburg Research Lab is our most famous SAP, while our newsletter is our most widespread CRAP. These worthy activities, conducted entirely without government intervention or support, are the only things which are presently standing between mankind and oblivion.

The Society has, in fact, established a policy of avoiding governmental sponsorship. We can envision the establishment of the Department of Gravity, with a twenty-billion dollar budget, thousands of bureaucrats, consultants and ne'er-do-well politicians. Even then, our gravity would undoubtedly all end up in Georgia, complete with a totally incomprehensible tax and coupon system. Our Society feels that this problem is a matter best handled by the intelligent individual. We urge you to do your part. A few easy steps, taken by enough concerned people, will suffice to stave off disaster. We urge you to support the Society, join in its activities, teach your friends and neighbors what they can do, and above all, conserve our most precious terrestrial resource.
The American Society for the Conservation of Gravity was formed by my grandfather, Darwin Randall Crum, in March of 1980. Once a strapping organization, it had all but fallen apart since his death, surviving only in stacks of papers and pamphlets in attics and filing cabinets. I have begun the process of creating the Society anew and continuing my grandfather's essential work in educating the public about the terrible menace we all face.
Organizational Chart

Gravity is caused by LIGREFITEs, or Little Invisible Gravity Rays Emanating From Inside The Earth. These LIGREFITEs are like threaded rods that extend from the center of the Earth. They pass through every piece of matter and keep them from floating away (except for things like helium, which are threaded in the opposite direction). We are currently working to uncover Darwin's original writings on LIGREFITEs.
We are also researching the construction of advanced Gravity Detector, which will be a handheld device to determine whether or not there is gravity in a location.
Further magazine coverage

Show your support
Darwin offered bumper stickers, and so do we! Also, a t-shirt.

You can also put this HTML in your blog info/user profiles to show your support for the ASCG:
<a href=""><img border=0 src=""></a>
Darwin's letter to the president

Mort Walker, the artist who draws Beetle Bailey, kindly penned this drawing in support of the ASCG.

Randall Munroe is currently currently studying toward a degree in physics and mathematics at Christopher Newport University in Newport News, Virginia. He can be reached by email at He is the author of the webcomic
Drawings, unless otherwise noted, are by Llovable Lloyd Teitsworth